Support Tween Pilot Program for LGBTQ at Skylark - formerly known as Delisle and Oolagen

In January 2016 we realized the child we thought was our daughter was really our son. Noah texted his mother “I am transgender.” We sat down with our child and asked “What do you need from us.” He said “I need to be who I am and I am a boy”. We told him we would make it happen. We told him that we were so proud to be his parents and he is the bravest person either of us know. 

 

We took Nora to a barber shop on Church Street. As they cut Nora’s long hair we saw a light go on in our child’s eyes that we had not seen in quite a while. We came into the barber shop with Nora and left with Noah. We went shopping and got him boys clothes and that Monday he went back to school as Noah. He stood up in classes and told his classmates that he is a boy.

 

Our next step was research. Neither of us knew any transgender people or parents of transgender kids, we had to educate ourselves. What we found was frightening. A recent Trans Pulse study of Ontario trans youth showed that 70% of youth who are not in supportive homes had considered suicide in the last year and that 57 % had attempted suicide[i]. We committed to making sure that we did absolutely everything in our power to make sure that Noah not only survives but grows up to be all that he can be.  The best way to do this is to support Noah and help him transition.

 

We told our family and friends about Noah. We worked with his school to ensure they follow the Ontario Human Rights Code. We got Noah into the Transgender Youth Clinic at SickKids. We joined a parent support group. Michelle joined PFLAG and took a parenting course for parents of transgender youth. 

 

But we have struggled to find Noah peer support. We will never understand how it feels to be born into the wrong body, or how it feels to be 13 years old and the only kid transgender at school.  We will never experience the stress and isolation he will experience as a transgender boy.

 

Michelle researched LGBTQ youth groups across Toronto. While there are great programs for trans youth at Central Toronto Youth Services and SOY, these program cater to older teens and young adults. There is a huge difference developmentally between a 17-year-old and a 13-year-old. We wanted to try to get Noah to be with kids his own age. 

 

We couldn’t find any programs for LGBTQ tweens and young teens in Toronto. Though PFLAG, and the SickKids Parent Group we learned that other parents are facing this same obstacle.  We decided to do something about it. We approached Delisle Youth Services (now known as Skylark) in June about starting a tween – young teen drop-in program, and they recognized the need for a program like this and said yes.    

 

The program will run three Fridays a month from 4:00 to 6:30 for LGBTQ kids and their allies who are between 12 to 15 years old. It will be free. We expect about 20 kids per week. There will be snacks and programing provided by professional staff. We want to create a safe place where LGBTQ kids can find community and have fun. We want these kids to know that they are not alone.

 

The cost of running this tween program is budgeted at $20,000 a year. We have committed to raising the money to fund this program. We are asking family and friends to join us in funding this program. We want to show Noah and other youth that this community supports him and other LGBTQ youth.

 

Please support our cause by donating.

 

Michelle and Chris Sparrow

 

 

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[i] http://transpulseproject.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Impacts-of-Strong-Parental-Support-for-Trans-Youth-vFINAL.pdf